Jun 16, 2022 | News, Opinion
A Derby mum speaks out about her own son’s experiences
As the world marks and celebrates Pride Month this June, Derbyshire’s specialist child exploitation charity, Safe and Sound, has warned that young people who are questioning or exploring their sexuality are particularly vulnerable to online grooming and exploitation.
And a Derby mum has spoken out about her own son’s experiences which still affects the whole family to this day.
Safe and Sound’s workload has doubled since the start of the pandemic – particularly due the increased support needed for children and young people who are victims of or at risk of online grooming.
Furthermore, the specialist team has worked with more young people who have gone online to find answers to their questions about *LGBTQ+ – making them more vulnerable to sexual predators.
Safe and Sound CEO Tracy Harrison explained: “Online grooming could happen to any child or young person.
“However, if an LGBTQ+ child or young person hasn’t come out or feels that their gender identity or sexuality needs to be kept secret, perpetrators can take advantage of this to prevent the child from telling anyone about the relationship or to coerce them into meeting offline without telling anyone else.”
The mother of a teenage boy who was targeted online by sexual predators wanted to tell her story in the hope that other families will be extra vigilant to the warning signs.
The family, who live in Derby, turned to Safe and Sound for help and support when the online grooming of their son came to light.
Now, nine months later, they are determined to do all that they can to highlight the dangers facing young people both online and in person.
Jane (not her real name) has many years’ experience working in education and social care and she and her husband thought they had internet safety covered to protect her young son and daughter online.
However, their world turned upside down in just one day when son (then aged 12) asked to be picked up from school because he felt unwell.
“Jane’s” husband uncovered the problem via his son’s phone
He headed straight to his room – leaving his phone on the table – and Jane’s husband decided to check his son’s social media accounts which they often did to ensure privacy settings had not been breached.
To his horror, he found two long Whatsapp conversation threads. One was with a foreign number claiming to be a teenager asking for explicit images and another from an older man who wanted to meet up for advice on how to talk to his own son about his sexuality.
Warning bells started to ring and when Jane returned home from work, they both looked at their son’s Snapchat account – discovering that he had hundreds of connections with strangers.
A deeper delve into the phone found reams of naked and explicit images which their son had both received and which he had sent out of himself.
Jane said: “We are a very open and loving family with great relationships with our children so I never thought that this would happen to one of them.
“Looking back, starting puberty and going up to senior school during Covid definitely didn’t help our son. I knew he was struggling and was becoming more introverted but we just put that down to his age.
“We found ‘gay teenage boys’ on his search history and it was obvious that he had been questioning whether he was gay and had gone online looking for answers to the questions going round his head.
“We could also see that there had been a photo exchange with the foreign number just that morning and realised that this had got seriously out of hand and that our son had left his phone out on purpose for us to see.”
The family sought support
Jane and her husband decided they needed to call the police. “I really struggled with the explicit nature of the photographs but I recognised that he was being coerced and exploited into sharing images of himself.
“The police officer was firm but fair and warned our son that sharing explicit images of himself was illegal and that he could be prosecuted.
“Thankfully they did not take this further but, equally, there was little the police could do. Having tracked down the foreign number to Thailand, they alerted the police there.
“Also, although the motives of the man in this country wanting to meet up were most probably sexual, the content of his messages were not illegal so the police couldn’t do anything apart from put an alert on his number.
“The police officer was particularly brutal about the consequences of all of this. They know the images of our son and his number had already been shared on the ‘dark web’ – leaving him vulnerable to further grooming.
“He could also be easily found by matching up other photos on social media, for example, in his school uniform which could have put both him and his sister in real danger of … well anything.”
The whole situation took an immense toll on the family and Jane was unable to find him help until she contacted Safe and Sound.
“Although he has been a victim of grooming and exploitation, we don’t want what he has been through to define him for the rest of his life and we desperately needed help to move on.
“My biggest fear was he would start to self-harm – or worse – and that has kept me awake at night.
“After so many closed doors, finding Safe and Sound was a huge weight off our shoulders.
“The support worker really put us all at our ease and spent time building up a rapport with our son. To this day, I don’t know what they discussed which is exactly how it should be.
“She has reassured me that our son recognises how he put himself in danger and that he was not talking to boys his own age but to adults looking to exploit him so he is in a good place to move forward with his life.
Pride Month encourages open conversations
“He is now 14 and doing well. Although we don’t know whether he is straight, gay or bisexual, he seems more comfortable and confident in himself and he has some good mates – boys and girls.
“Every day gets easier but I am still mad at him and the people who took advantage of him. Yes he was naïve but these people are professional perpetrators and they prey off young people’s insecurities and uncertainty.
“All the security settings on both of our children’s phones are now at the highest levels – particularly blocking foreign numbers. We changed their numbers and closed down social media accounts.
“Both children are also only allowed to use their phones at certain times and only at weekends when we are around.”
Jane concluded: “My biggest concern now is what could be happening in other families’ homes. It is worrying to think of parents who have found things on their children’s phones that they should never see but who are brushing things under the carpet – too ashamed to get help.
“I would appeal to any other parent in this situation not to hide it and this could make matters worse. It’s important to call the police – however scary a prospect that is – and to recognise that you need help to come to terms with what has happened.
“Safe and Sound have been a lifeline for our family and I am so grateful that we found them. It is a scary world out there but we need to do all that we can to protect our children both on the internet and in our local communities.”
Tracy Harrison added: “Pride Month is a hugely positive movement and encourages open and honest conversations. I appreciate this is not always easy for families having those first conversations but it is really important to talk.
“And I would appeal to all families to be extra vigilant about who their young people are talking to online and to set the highest privacy settings.”
For more information about the work of Safe and Sound and how to support them during their 20th anniversary year, please visit www.safeandsoundgroup.org.uk
Ends
Media enquiries: Sarah Jenkin-Jones, JJPR, Tel: 01332 515102/07951 945665; [email protected]
*LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning and more. This term covers a broad range of people who have different lived experiences and may be at different stages in exploring their identity. It includes people who are asexual or have differences in sex development (sometimes known as being intersex).
For more information about child exploitation, Safe and Sound Derby and how to support their work, please visit www.safeandsoundgroup.org.uk
Oct 23, 2019 | News, Opinion
By Tracy Harrison, chief executive of local specialist child sexual exploitation charity Safe and Sound
A key part of Safe and Sound’s work across Derbyshire is to support the families of children and young people who are victims of or at risk of child sexual exploitation (CSE).
Parents and the wider family tell us that their overwhelming feelings when they discover their child has – or is still being – sexually exploited are anger, helplessness and guilt.
Our over-riding message to them from the outset is that, just as their son or daughter is not to blame for what has happened, they as parents are equally not to blame.
These children are targeted by individuals or groups of ruthless and manipulative criminals and a key tactic is to deliberately estrange children from their parents to exert greater control.
Children and young people often believe they are in a ‘loving’ relationship with the perpetrator. Others have been viciously threatened to keep quiet for fear of their own, or their family’s safety.
Therefore, these young victims are reluctant to talk to anyone – let alone their families – about what has or is still happening.
The first stage in supporting young victims is to help them recognise that they have been groomed and exploited – and families have a vital role in this process.
They need to make it clear to their child they can always come and talk to them – no matter what they have to say — and that the family will always be there for them.
One father whose daughter was a victim of CSE told me that the turning point for them was recognising that they had to start listening and believing her – rather than blaming her for running away and closing down communications with them.
Whilst it is obviously important to keep children safe, families also need to look after themselves during these difficult times.
A common aspect of CSE is that children go missing for increasing periods of time. This obviously causes huge levels of anxiety and sleep deprivation for the families waiting at home.
Sexually exploited children often find it difficult to control their anger and direct it at their family members through physical and verbal abuse.
Others avoid going to school, cut themselves off from their friends and often self-harm – all of which puts a huge strain on family life.
Coping and living with CSE can seriously affect mental and physical health so it is important to speak honestly with a GP about the stress they are under.
It’s also important to recognise that, even when the abuse stops, recovery does not happen overnight for the young person or the family so support from Safe and Sound is ongoing for as long as it is needed.
With greater awareness of CSE amongst professionals and wider communities alike – the issue of CSE is finally being recognised with the severity it deserves and it is vital that parents do not give up on the situation.
They need to make all the professionals who come into contact with their child – from teachers to social workers – aware of their concerns and be persistent even if they feel they are not being taken seriously.
Furthermore, families should keep rigorous diaries and notes of all incidences as these will be invaluable in any future court proceedings.
Throughout these dark times, it is vital that parents recognise that they are not alone and that there is help available.
Please visit the Safe and Sound website www.safeandsoundgroup.org.uk for more information about support available to victims of sexual exploitation and their families and how to support the charity’s work to protect local children and young people.
Sep 24, 2019 | Opinion, Press Releases
A pilot project to support and protect children and young people in Derby’s new communities who are victims of or at risk of child sexual exploitation (CSE) has been extended.
Specialist local charity Safe and Sound has been part of a wider Government-funded project, led by Derby City Council, to support new communities in the city from, for example, Eastern Europe, with issues they face such as sexual exploitation, education, housing and modern slavery.
Funding for the project has now been extended for a further 12 months to ensure that more young people and their families can be supported and that awareness about CSE is further extended across local communities.
In the past year, the charity has worked with more than 20 children and young people aged 18 and under. They have faced issues ranging from being at risk of online grooming to trafficking.
Another key aspect of the project has been to raise awareness amongst new communities about CSE and the dangers facing young people both physically and online.
More than 40 awareness sessions have been held and special training has been completed for ten community leaders and workers to further spread information about the issue and the support available in the city.
Safe and Sound chief executive Tracy Harrison explained: “Families from Eastern European countries in particular often come from largely rural communities and living in a city can, therefore, be very alien to their culture.
“When we started the project, it soon became evident that new communities in the city were unaware of the grooming tactics used by perpetrators. This has been compounded by the language barriers they face and their reluctance to engage with authorities who can support them.
“These factors therefore make their children and young people extremely vulnerable to sexual exploitation.”
She continued: “Our aim has been to firstly directly support those young people who are already being groomed or who are regarded as at particular risk of such exploitation and to keep them safe.
“We have also made good inroads in raising awareness across new communities of CSE and to build their trust in Safe and Sound who can support young people and their families.
“By raising awareness of the dangers facing young people, we are now contacted by fellow professionals, schools and families themselves who better recognise the warning signs of grooming and exploitation.
“This increased awareness enables us to identify and work one to one with young people to help them recognise unhealthy and exploitative relationships, build their confidence and resilience and better protect them from these predators.
“By working in partnership with fellow professionals and the communities themselves, we are making significant progress in transforming the lives of young people so that they can build stronger wings to grow up safely in our local communities.”
Safe and Sound’s work with new communities in the operates alongside the charity’s wider project across Derbyshire, funded by Children in Need.
The project provides support for children and young people at risk of child sexual exploitation and raise awareness of the issue amongst local communities.
The charity recently launched a year-long Butterfly Appeal to raise vital funds to further expand its work across the city and county.
Future plans include launching new services such as outreach work, family support, youth work programmes, psychological therapy, longer term support for survivors and an expanded community education programme.
For more information about Safe and Support can help and how to support the charity’s work in Derbyshire, please visit www.safeandsoundgroup.org and follow on Facebook and Twitter @safeandsoundgroup #BuildingStrongerWings or email [email protected]
ends
Media enquiries: Sarah Jenkin-Jones, JJPR, Tel: 01332 515102/07951 945665; [email protected]
About Safe and Sound and the Butterfly Appeal
Safe and Sound was launched in 2002 and is the only local charity that is totally focused on transforming the lives of thousands of children and young people who are victims or are at risk of child sexual exploitation across Derbyshire.
Safe and Sound’s expertise came to the fore during the 2010 landmark case – Operation Retriever – which was Derby’s first prosecution for child sexual exploitation and abuse. The charity’s specialist team supported every young person affected by the criminal actions of 13 defendants who were jailed in total for up to 22 years for 70 offences.
Safe and Sound’s specialist team provides individual support for children and young people from as young as eight up to the age of 18. They also raise awareness of the issue and the dangers facing children and young people through awareness programmes for schools, organisations, businesses and community groups.
Safe and Sound has launched the Butterfly Appeal #Buildingstrongwings to bring to fruition its vision for expanded services to support young people, families and wider community.
The charity’s future vision is extensive and includes:
– A new outreach programme to provide hands-on support where young people are at their most vulnerable
– Wider support for the families of victims and those at risk of CSE
– Youth work programmes with new activities from music to sport to build young people’s confidence and resilience
– Specialist psychological therapy programmes to tackle trauma, anxiety and depression
– Longer term support for survivors moving into adulthood enabling them to mentor younger victims
– An expanded community education programme to increase public awareness of CSE and the dangers facing young people
Supporters and ambassadors include the Chief Constable of Derbyshire who has chosen Safe and Sound as one of his chosen charities.
For more information about child sexual exploitation, Safe and Sound Derby and the Butterfly Appeal please visitwww.safeandsoundgroup.co.uk and follow on social media. A powerful video outlining young people’s experiences and why local people and businesses should support Safe and Sound is online at https://youtu.be/xjcb1y2cfGE
About CSE
In the UK today, one in 20 children suffer sexual abuse which includes child sexual exploitation. That means that in every classroom in Derbyshire, there is at least one vulnerable young person in need of help.
Child Sexual Exploitation (commonly referred to as CSE) is a form of child sexual abuse and takes many different forms from rape and sexual assault to online grooming and encouraging children to share inappropriate images of themselves.
CSE is a particularly manipulative form of abuse and is also linked to such criminal exploitation issues such as County Lines, gangs, trafficking and modern slavery.
The key factor is that individuals or groups take advantage of young people by manipulating or deceiving them into sexual activity in exchange for something the victim needs or wants. This could range from money and alcohol to less tangible things such as the attention that they crave at a vulnerable time in their lives.
Sep 17, 2019 | Opinion, Press Releases
The National Crime Agency (NCA) leads on delivering increased operational activity on the different areas of modern slavery and human trafficking and this week (w/c September 16 2019) are focusing on the need for agencies to work together to better identify victims of Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE).
As the specialist and grassroots CSE provider in Derbyshire – Safe and Sound welcome moves to raise awareness of this issue across all agencies and particularly frontline NHS staff so that the otherwise hidden victims of CSE can be identified and helped.
Victims of and those vulnerable to sexual exploitation may access GP Surgeries, A&E, Sexual Health Services, Maternity and Abortion Service providers, be visited by community nursing or they may also come into contact with adult and children’s social care services.
According to the Independent Anti-Slavery Commissioners Office, 1 in 8 NHS staff have had contact with a patient known or suspected to be a victim of trafficking, rising to 1 in 5 among maternity services professionals. This emphasises the importance of the health care sector in reaching out to the hidden community of sexually exploited victims of modern slavery and human trafficking.
CSE is an issue that affects children and young people across all communities. It is only by working together and better understanding this issue that we can protect some of the most vulnerable in our society and help to transform their lives for a positive future.
Sep 9, 2019 | Opinion, Press Releases
The Chancellor’s spending plans were packed with headline-grabbing news but one announcement particularly caught my eye.
Sajid Javid announced, as part of the spending plans for the Home Office, that an additional £30 million would be made available to tackle online child sexual exploitation – which is commonly referred to as CSE.
Safe and Sound is the only local charity dedicated to supporting children and young people across Derbyshire who are victims of or at risk of CSE.
We obviously welcome this news and look forward to working with our partners in the criminal justice system to ensure that prevention and detection of online CSE is stepped up in this county.
In his speech, the Chancellor recognised that the internet is changing how criminals operate and break the law in a number of ways and I am relieved that he has put CSE high on the agenda as part of the wider policing priorities.
No doubt this announcement is in response shocking rise in online grooming which is the first stage in predators’ manipulation and control of their young victims.
Figures show that there has been almost a 50% increase in offences of sexual communication with a child and a 200% rise in recorded offences using Instagram to target and abuse children.
At Safe and Sound, we too have also seen a dramatic rise in online grooming by male and female perpetrators across Derbyshire.
Online grooming is when someone builds a relationship with a young person and then tricks, pressurises or even blackmails them into doing something sexual.
This could be as having explicit online conversations, sending naked images or videos, doing something on webcam or tricking them into meeting up.
Safe and Sound’s specialist support team help young girls and boys from all walks of life to realise that these online ‘friends’ are in fact manipulative predators and we help them to break contact and stay safe in future.
We work with young people and their families to ensure privacy settings are correctly set up, that they keep online devices – particularly those with webcams – in the living room or family spaces and highlight the risks of sharing information online.
Therefore, whilst we welcome the additional funding in tackling online CSE, we must all be aware of the dangers faced by young people online and to report concerns.
Please visit our website for more information and how we and other organisations can help: www.safeandsoundgroup.org.uk
Tracy Harrison, Chief Executive of specialist Child Sexual Exploitation charity Safe and Sound
Sep 6, 2019 | Fundraising, Opinion, Press Releases
A group of amateur boxers are hoping to emulate the immortal words of sporting great Mohammed Ali and float to their fundraising target to support local charity Safe and Sound’s Butterfly Appeal.
Ten charity boxers have chosen to support the long-established charity’s plans to expand the support it provides for children and young people across Derbyshire who are victims of or at risk of Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE).
They are among a 25-strong group who have been training at Fearon’s Gym and Boxing Academy in Osmaston Road in preparation for a charity boxing event on Saturday September 14 at Queen’s Hall in London Road.
Safe and Sound CEO Tracy Harrison added: “Boxing and fitness is all about building confidence and self-esteem and that is just what our specialist team focus on when supporting young people to build stronger wings to transform their lives.
“The fact that everyone is supporting Safe and Sound’s Butterfly Appeal is even more of a fit with this event considering Ali’s immortal phrase ‘float like a butterfly ..sting like a bee!”
Event organiser and gym owner Clive Fearon (pictured front centre), who is a renowned personal trainer and former professional boxer, continued: “Previous charity boxing events have been very popular and raised a lot of money for local charities.
“We have recommended this group to support Safe and Sound. It is a local charity supporting local children and young people which, as a community interest company, is totally in line with what we believe in.”
The prize on the night will be a gleaming championship belt which will be presented to the person who has raised the most for their chosen charity.
In strong contention is Chris Lloyd (32) from Allenton (pictured front second from right) who has already raised well over £1,000 including donations from Eco Drive, Spray Kings, Rapid Home Improvements and city pubs Noah’s Ark, Norman Arms and The Neptune.
He said: “I know a few people who have been supported by Safe and Sound in the past so it was a no-brainer when we were asked which charity we wanted to support.
“I’ve really enjoyed the training for this event and am still working hard to raise as much as I can.”
Dan Howie (32) from Chaddesden (pictured back second from left) will be competing in his third charity boxing event as part of his bid to lose enough weight to have surgery to remove excess skin.
Dan has already shed 26 stone following gastric sleeve surgery and has another 1.5 stone to go before he can stabilise and qualify for the final surgery.
“This has been a long journey but I am nearing my goal and raising money for this great local charity certainly helps to keep you focused.”
One of the oldest participants is Marc Stevens (40) who is Operations Manager at Safe and Sound. At the last event, he raised £510 for the charity and also won his match in the first round.
He said: “Having raised my fitness levels, I wanted to continue and test myself with a longer bout. We have a great friendly but competitive spirit both in the ring and in seeing which of us can raise the most money.”
Safe and Sound Head of Fundraising Tom Stanyard concluded: “We are very grateful that these charity boxers have chosen to support our Butterfly Appeal.
“With the help of businesses, individuals and groups, our aim is to raise vital funds to help us to support even more young people who are vulnerable to or currently facing sexual exploitation as well as their families.”
For more information about how to support Safe and Sound, please visit www.safeandsoundgroup.org.ukand follow on Facebook and Twitter @safeandsoundgroup or email [email protected]
ends
Media enquiries: Sarah Jenkin-Jones, JJPR, Tel: 01332 515102/07951 945665; [email protected]
About Safe and Sound and the Butterfly Appeal
Safe and Sound was launched in 2002 and is the only local charity that is totally focused on transforming the lives of thousands of children and young people who are victims or are at risk of child sexual exploitation across Derbyshire.
Safe and Sound’s expertise came to the fore during the 2010 landmark case – Operation Retriever – which was Derby’s first prosecution for child sexual exploitation and abuse. The charity’s specialist team supported every young person affected by the criminal actions of 13 defendants who were jailed in total for up to 22 years for 70 offences.
Safe and Sound’s specialist team provides individual support for children and young people from as young as eight up to the age of 18. They also raise awareness of the issue and the dangers facing children and young people through awareness programmes for schools, organisations, businesses and community groups.
Safe and Sound has launched the Butterfly Appeal #Buildingstrongwings to bring to fruition its vision for expanded services to support young people, families and wider community.
The charity’s future vision is extensive and includes:
– A new outreach programme to provide hands-on support where young people are at their most vulnerable
– Wider support for the families of victims and those at risk of CSE
– Youth work programmes with new activities from music to sport to build young people’s confidence and resilience
– Specialist psychological therapy programmes to tackle trauma, anxiety and depression
– Longer term support for survivors moving into adulthood enabling them to mentor younger victims
– An expanded community education programme to increase public awareness of CSE and the dangers facing young people
Supporters and ambassadors include the Chief Constable of Derbyshire who has chosen Safe and Sound as one of his chosen charities.
For more information about child sexual exploitation, Safe and Sound Derby and the Butterfly Appeal please visitwww.safeandsoundgroup.co.ukand follow on social media.A powerful video outlining young people’s experiences and why local people and businesses should support Safe and Sound is online at https://youtu.be/xjcb1y2cfGE
About CSE
In the UK today, one in 20 children suffer sexual abuse which includes child sexual exploitation. That means that in every classroom in Derbyshire, there is at least one vulnerable young person in need of help.
Child Sexual Exploitation (commonly referred to as CSE) is a form of child sexual abuse and takes many different forms from rape and sexual assault to online grooming and encouraging children to share inappropriate images of themselves.
CSE is a particularly manipulative form of abuse and is also linked to such criminal exploitation issues such as County Lines, gangs, trafficking and modern slavery.
The key factor is that individuals or groups take advantage of young people by manipulating or deceiving them into sexual activity in exchange for something the victim needs or wants. This could range from money and alcohol to less tangible things such as the attention that they crave at a vulnerable time in their lives.
